“Humans are smart creatures. By some accounts, they’re as smart as we are! They have language — primarily vocal and symbolic, yes, but a small number of them have been observed making use of hand signs. Hand signs! You cannot deny the similarity to our own language!”
Wafts-Gracefully-In-The-Breeze waved her lower set of hands dismissively. “How can you be so sure this is language use? They make sounds with their eating holes — who ever heard of such a language? They print symbols on dead plants — so it’s a rudimentary form of art, so what?”
“And the hand signs?” pressed Jumps-Through-Flames.
“When you stumble into a bramble-bush and recoil in pain, that looks superficially like you’re asking someone on a date. Are you?”
“No, but—”
“Come on, now. Humans, capable of language use? There’s no evidence they’re capable of higher thought in the first place!”
“What about their architecture? They’ve built structures taller than any of ours! They’ve put satellites in orbit! There’s even evidence that—”
“They’ve been to their moon?” Wafts finished with a sardonic stamp of her foot. “Ridiculous. Those remnants are obviously from some other people who visited this system before us.”
Jumps rubbed ver wings together to produce an exasperated buzz. “The structures on their homeworld, though…”
“Any functioning social species does that. You’re an entomologist, you know that.”
Jumps-Through-Flames snapped ver joints back and forth in such frenzied exasperation one might be forgiven for thinking ve was having a seizure. “Are you watching yourself right now?! Have you ever seen a human before?! This is ridiculous, Wafts!”
“Don’t get so emotional.”
“It’s impossible to talk to you. I’m done.”
Later that night, as Wafts-Gracefully-In-The-Breeze perched in her kitchen finishing her second serving of Human Nuggets, she realized what the problem was.
Jumps-Through-Flames was a vegan. No wonder ve was so irrational and stupid.
“Well, glad I don’t have to waste any more time talking to ver,” Wafts laughed to herself. She popped another nugget into her maw.