An artist’s representation of what it might look like if Mittens had ever been fed before. | Photo by Kadyn Pierce
An artist’s representation of what it might look like if Mittens had ever been fed before. | Photo by Kadyn Pierce
Despite claims by Flora Baker, 32, that she “love[s] [her] precious kitty-witty so very much”, anonymous sources report that Mittens Baker, 5, has never been fed even once in his entire life.
“Mittens is literally starving to death,” claimed the source. “Just look at his food bowl. You can see the bottom of the dish!”
Mittens has reportedly tried everything to draw attention to his plight. Our anonymous source, as well as Ms. Baker and her closest neighbors, all confirm that the cat laments his fate at the top of his lungs well into the night, every night.
“That cat never shuts up!” complained one elderly neighbor. “I can’t get a wink of sleep!”
At press time Mittens was reportedly walking in front of Ms. Baker, attempting to trip her as she carried a dish of food to his designated place-mat.