Care and Feeding of Your Philip

1. Make sure he eats (and sleeps and bathes and…)

In some ways, Philip was the smartest person Shotaro had ever laid eyes on. He could pluck just about any piece of information out of the bookshelves of the planet with only a few simple keywords. He was curious and insightful, and he loved to learn.

And then there were the days when he got so deep into his research that he forgot to eat. Among other things.

Shotaro stepped into the hangar. “Yo, Philip, you think you could look something up for me? It’s for a case.”

There was no response. Frowning, Shotaro stepped onto the grating where Philip usually stood. There was his partner… lying facedown on the floor.

“Philip!” Shotaro crouched beside him and shook his shoulder. There was an unpleasant stench in the air, but he could deal with that after he made sure Philip was all right. “Hey, Philip, wake up!”

Philip stirred. He turned his head to look up at Shotaro, eyes bleary and unfocused at first. “Sho… taro?”

“Hey, what happened to you?” He tugged Philip up into a sitting position. “We didn’t transform today.”

“Hm?” Philip brushed his hair out of his eyes, frowning when he realized his hair clips were missing. “I’m not sure. I feel extremely tired…”

Now that Shotaro got a better look, he realized that there were heavy bags under Philip’s eyes. His hair hung limp, with a distinctly greasy look to it. And that smell— it was coming from Philip, too. Shotaro wrinkled his nose. “Uh, Philip… have you taken a shower today?”

Philip looked surprised. He shook his head. A sudden loud rumble came from his stomach and he cringed.

“…You haven’t eaten, either.” Sighing, Shotaro covered his face with his hand. “Have you been in here researching all day?!”

It was like the wheels were turning in his younger partner’s head. Philip’s eyes lit up and he got to his feet, swaying slightly. He headed toward his whiteboards. “Yes, I have! Shotaro, have you heard of this food called pizza? It originated in Italy—”

Scrambling to his feet, Shotaro grabbed Philip’s shoulder. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. You are in no shape to be doing any research! You need dinner, a shower, and a nap, in that order.”

“Can we have pizza?”

Shotaro sighed. “Sure. We can have pizza.”

2. Indulge his research habits…

Shotaro awoke the next morning to the sound of rummaging through the refrigerator. He rolled onto his side and pulled aside the curtain shielding his bed from the rest of the office. “What the…”

Philip turned. He didn’t bother to close the fridge door. “Shotaro, we’re out of pizza!”

“Well, yeah. We ate all of it last night.” Or to be more accurate, Philip ate most of it. Shotaro only got two slices.

Philip let out a pained whine. “No! I have to have more. Shotaro, we need to get more! I have to experience every sort of pizza there is!”

Oh, right. This was his latest research project. Shotaro groaned and climbed out of bed. He wasn’t going to be getting any more sleep today, that was for sure. He dug through the dresser for some clothes as Philip came up behind him and rambled about pizza.

“There’s Mexican pizza, and there’s Chicago-style pizza, and there’s kosher pizza! And there’s mochi-crust pizza! Some chains also have dessert pizzas, which sound wonderful. Hey, Shotaro, hey, we need to get more pizza!” Philip tugged on the sleeve of his pajama top as he shrugged out of it.

“We aren’t made of money, you know,” Shotaro pointed out.

“Then take some more cases. Sheesh.”

“Why don’t you try making some pizza?” Shotaro waved in the direction of the kitchen. “I think we have some flour…”

It was like a lightbulb went off over Philip’s head. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?”

Within minutes, Shotaro could hear the rustling of pots and pans. He hoped that suggestion wasn’t a mistake.